Lately I have been reading and listening a lot about how to raise children? They seem to be quite a help, at first but can we really decode children, especially teenagers?
Of course that doesn’t mean that we should stop making amends or not seek a different approach. We will keep looking for ways to come close to them and they will hop and jump on some other side.
It’s a game of thief-police or a tom and jerry chase. But please don’t be alarmed with that. If you think they are drifting apart from you, then you are wrong, they aren’t.
All children love their parents just like we love them. It’s our fear of losing them or fear that they might get into trouble. Our little puppies can sense our insecurities and fears, so they choose to run away a little.
I am a mother of a teenage girl myself, I am also learning to understand and deal things between us. Trust me, I have had a motherload of insecurities. But now I have learned to take few steps back, because I don’t want to suffocate her, though I keep teaching her about everything. The only thing that matters for me is her happiness, but her happiness should come with some responsibility. And she should know that I will always be there no matter what, and she should not be vain in her actions.
I always say that, five different patients with a stomach ache can’t be treated by the same medicine. Same is with our children, all are different and each kid needs a different approach. So don’t make a mistake by handling your child the way your dear friend has handled her.
Know and understand your child first, each child is born with their own peculiar habit or mind set, even twins aren’t the same. Let them speak more, be a listener, even if your mind is about to burst open, still be patient just listen, and sleep on it, don’t react or teach. (This can be tested with husbands as well.) I know it’s tough but you will learn and you will reach your goal as well.
Don’t force studies on them, let them fall in love with their books.Don’t make crazy rules like one can’t study with music on or whatever. If a child is comfortable studying in even the loudest noise, let him. Give them some space to make decisions for themselves.
If you want make rules make them on the basis of morals, ethics and civic sense. We as mothers need to inculcate righteousness in our children.
I see people fret about their children’s studies. They are lucky they are in an era where opportunities and choices are in abundance, they will find way to their passion anyway. But how many chances are there of them to survive if you let them drive underage or without helmet. Teach them to value money, and not to let power get to their heads.
I will keep emphasising on ethics, as our teachings will make them stand strong in all their ups and downs.
They are the future, they don’t belong to just us. It is our duty to make them a strong personality with their head over their shoulder.
And we just need to be their pillars not walls.